Seven Highly Avoidable People…

With the advent of social media apps and forums, socializing has increased more than ever. I like to think that I am a very social person. I love dressing up and talking to people. There are certain times, though, when I find myself in awkward-don't-know-what-to-say/do situations.

I strongly believe that all of us are basically good people with some exceptions of course. But generally we do not mean bad for other people. However, in daily conversations with some seemingly harmless remarks we end up making other people feel awkward or upset without realizing. Of course your conversations with others depend on your level of formality, but these points below are for general people that I meet at social gatherings, parties, weddings and get-togethers.

Based on observations, embarrassing encounters, awkward conversations and experiences of three decades, I present to you my list of seven awkward people and circumstances that I wish I can avoid.  

1.       But if Compliments:  

Generally at weddings, parties etc, people compliment each other, which is just fine. But almost immediately they look for what  could have been done better.

"but if only you had put a bit more red lipstick". 

"but if only you had your hair done by a professional"

"but why are you so simple? Add some glitter in your life"

“but if you did less make up….”

It is fine as long as all this is said in good fun, like may be to a close friend who understands that you are joking, but coming from people who you have recently met is a big turn off. People come to parties dressed as best as they can depending on 'their taste' - Not on 'your taste'. Please, your compliments are enough. You can hold your suggestions until someone asks for them. I try to avoid interacting with such people as they just make me super conscious of my appearance. 

2.       Complain Centers: 

We all have busy lives whether, you are a working woman or a housewife. Some people are blessed with extra energy and you'd be amazed at how they swiftly juggle all their responsibilities. Some people just cannot. I belong to the second group.With a full time job (Thank God) and photographer husband who is usually busy on weekends, there are times when I just cannot handle too many things. Trust me, I try my best to be as social as I can but some days it is very difficult. And then the day I manage to show up at a party - most of the time I am explaining my reasons for being 'absent' on other days. I actually think a few times before accepting an invitation - evaluating how many complains the host would have against me. Here, let me confess that I love all my friends who always understand and never complain. Thank you for not giving up on me. 

Love you for being patient <3

3.       Personal Attacks: 

Well, perhaps not attacks, but some by-the-way comments and questions that a person might not want to hear from you. I think people must really evaluate their relationship and level of formality with the other person before asking them why they do…. what they do. Questions like why are you still single?  Or when will you have children? If you have one, when will you have the second one?  Why do you have pimples? Or why is your hair so thin? Etc.  These are always accompanied by remedies and advices. In such situations you either remind someone of their struggles that they are already tired of or forcing them to tell you their goals which you might not understand. These questions do not have an answer, but they do put others in an awkward situation. Give people some space so that they can relax, breathe and be happy. 

4.       The know-it-all-done-it-all-better-than-you:

These people always hijack every experience you have had and replace it with theirs, which was obviously more thrilling. It starts with "same thing happen to me" and ends at that too. If they haven't had a similar experience, someone they know must have had it and it will still be better than yours. If you say you had a hectic day, theirs would be even more hectic. If you cleaned your house, they did too. These coincidences can happen once or twice, which is natural, but when it happens every time - it dulls conversations. I am compelled to become a patient listener in such cases, but feel really bored as I do not even get a chance to finish a conversation I started. 

5.       The Quiet Observers: 

I would like to divide them into two further types.

a.       Psychics: Who can guess everything. At any gathering they would look straight in your eye, hold your hand and ask you if there is anything wrong. Then they will silently observe you as you answer to find clues to back up their assumptions. If you will laugh it off, they will press your hand a bit to show that they know you are hiding it. I know people do this out of genuine love, but really at a gathering you want that person to break down and tell you the story? If you are really concerned, please call the person later. Don't remind people of a situation (if there is any) that they might want a break from. 

b.      Followers: Literally coming from Facebook and Twitter, these people follow everything you post. They don’t comment and usually don’t post much stuff also (totally their choice) but during a party, they want to know why you posted a certain thing on a certain day. Once someone even asked me who a certain guy was because he actively comments on my Facebook posts. Please. Stop. It could be just a random thing I liked that I posted. Not everything I post has a connection with my real life and not especially on that day. 

6.        Gossipbox:

Gossipboxes are just interested in gossip and nothing else. They would find their own friends in any party and start their own little party. I think I do the same too but things get a little awkward when they laugh at their own inside jokes and constantly refer to incidents that you were never a part of. I feel extremely uncomfortable sitting with such people in a big gathering, trying to smile at joke I know nothing about. After they have laughed their heads off, they will narrate the incident to you and it gets more awkward if you don't LOL. I also have close friends with whom I share all sorts of inside jokes and but I don't do that when I am sitting with other people or at least not to a level to make the other person feel silly. 

7.        Hate-it-all: 

These people hate everything but you (or maybe they do). They have this amazing tendency to find something negative about almost everything and are really vocal about it. You start a conversation about something and they will tell you how they hate it. Movies? I hate Shahrukh Khan. Dramas? I hate Hamza Ali Abbasi. Food? I hate that restaurant. Politics? I hate talking about politics. They'd complain about everything. Conversations die even before starting. I avoid such people like plague not just in social gatherings but also on social media forums as their fluent negativity can be contagious.  

There are many more such incidents, which I would love to quote here but I think I will end up with zero social life. ;) 

I am also guilty of doing similar things to others but I guess there is always time to learn and improve. Sometimes a little negative comment can really upset someone but positive feedback,  thoughtful compliment, and giving someone space can never go wrong.  

I am sure many of you can relate to these type of experiences. I would love to hear your stories too.