10 Life Goals for 2021 and beyond...

It is hard to pen down in a single post what 2020 felt like. A whirlwind of events and emotions... where every day presented a new challenge. 

I am scared to make any resolutions for I don’t know what 2021 holds. 

Pakistan's Independence Day 2020

Happy Independence day to the country that will always be my identity no matter where I live 

Heart Talk: Birthday

My dad was posted in a small city when I was born. The nurses in the hospital believed that having a girl was not the best thing in the world. Also, in some confusion, they thought that my mother already had three girls (when it was 3 boys) and I was the fourth one. So, when I was born my mum says that the nurses were hesitant to reveal the gender. Finally, after seeing my mum’s desperation who was cooking all kinds of scenarios in her head at the nurses’ strange secrecy, she was informed with much regret that a girl was born. Mum who was prepared for the worst took a sigh of relief and asked the news to be delivered to the father. My anxious dad was pacing the corridors outside the labour room. All the guesses, symptoms and prophecies before my birth had prepared everyone for a boy but he was still secretly hoping for a baby GIRL.

Heart Talk: Life With a Creative Partner

Life with a creative partner… 

When Ahsan’s sister told us that he is studying film production to be a ‘cinematographer’, there was silence in the drawing room for a bit. Yes, ours was an arranged marriage and this was the first time his family came over. I, for one, did not know how to pronounce the word cinematographer, let alone know what such a fancy professional did. Back then I only knew few professions… doctor, engineer, teacher, chartered accountant. How did we end up getting married is a story for another post but, the point is that I married a cinematographer and entered into the world of creative people. 

Celebrating 10 Years of Expat Life

Time is a fascinating concept. I am the kind of person who loves to measure passing time in days, months and years. I am a walking calendar in that way. I have to put my mind at ease by adding a proper number to vague measures of times like a few years ago, a couple of months ago. But, what makes me happier is reaching a milestone and to be able to replace that number with a fancy word. 

Like... March of 2019 marks a ‘decade’ of living an expat life - a reminder that it has been a ‘decade’ to that leap of faith we took... you see what I meant by a fancy word? 

I will be doing a tiny series of posts about the journey so far by answering some of the commonly asked questions 

Let's get a cup of tea first... 

Heart Talk: Breakfast

Yesterday, we celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary and I don’t think any photograph better than this could sum up my marriage. 

Breakfast. 

Immigration Diary: Wardrobe Blues

In Pakistan, it is a norm to get custom-made clothes for yourself. People find it fascinating when I tell them that I used to design make my own clothes. Buy material, get some embroidery done on it, get a scarf dyed with it, get some embellishments for the scarf and then get a tailor to stitch it with the style and fitting of my choice and also within my budget 💁‍♀️. Sounds tedious but, this was like the ONLY way of buying clothes that I knew of. (Leaving tailor blues for another day…. 😜)

The Ordinary Girl is Three!

This month marks 3 years of this blogging journey! I had no clue that I would make it this far because back in 2015 when I started this blog it was just another way for me to stay connected with my loved ones back home and space for me to exhibit my love for chai and food in general. I had no goals for it, to be honest, except to keep writing and I had no idea which direction this blog was headed to. I took several breaks on and off because life was happening but, I made sure that I come back here and keep writing. 

Immigration Diary: One Good Resume is not Enough

One Good Resume/CV is not enough. 

I always thought that you just make one resume and list all your work experience, job tasks and achievements and use it while applying for relevant jobs. I assumed that the reader will go through my resume and understand my skills based on the information and assess that I suit the role or not. 

Job Hunting - Stay Motivated & Focussed

Job Hunting is the most stressful and demotivating experience for most of us. You apply for tons of jobs while all you need is just ONE. So, during the whole experience, the only thing you face is rejection. Wait and rejection can leave you demotivated and stressed. I have been through this stage and have been around friends and family going through this. It is tougher when you move to a new country and look for jobs as it takes double the effort to prove yourself from scratch. I wrote about it a few days ago here. 

While I may not be experienced enough to give you tips on how to find jobs, I can at least give you some tried tips on how to deal with demotivation during this whole phase and stay focussed. 

Heart Talk: Working in Foreign Country

The most difficult thing that you face when you move or migrate to a new country is building your identity from scratch. No matter what school/university you have studied from, no matter what famous companies you have on your CV and no matter how many recommendation letters you carry, all these have very little weight in most cases, if not all. That is why it is very difficult to find the right job. And If you find a job relevant to your field, even then you need to work really hard to build your credibility and prove your worth. The hard work doubles because you have to prove yourself as a professional and get accepted socially as well and there are many other issues on a personal level that keep building on. You will feel that people at work hesitate to talk to you because you are from a different cultural background. It mostly happens because they try to be cautious to not say/do something that may upset you but, you start feeling socially isolated at work and all this is emotionally draining.  

The only way to go through all of this without letting it demotivate you is to EXPECT it and ACCEPT it as soon as you can. Walk your way through it with optimism and hope. Don’t take rejections personally and do not let them shatter your confidence. 

It is one of the toughest phases but, it does not last forever.