Thursday, 27 July 2017

5 Types of Friends We Need in Life

I have been hearing and reading recently that FIVE friends are all you need! Now, I have a huge circle and many small circles of friends. I have changed multiple cities and have lived in two countries. Changed school whenever we changed house as my dad believed I should study in the school closest to the house. Next door if he could find one! I have done summer jobs, part-time jobs, volunteer work and full-time jobs. I befriended my husband's friends too after marriage. Also, I am sticky, a hard-to-let-go friend who will hunt you down and stay connected with you unless of course, you don't want me to. So, for me, to have 'just' five friends is nearly impossible...

I looked hard and long at my group of friends and I realized that I can put them in 5 types! No, these five types are not scientifically or psychologically proven. These are based on my (17) x2 years on this planet and over 500 friends that I really do stay connected with! Okay, maybe 250 .... but definitely not just 5. All thanks to Facebook by the way!

Here are the essential ones:

1. Friends with a Good Sense of Humour 

You always, always need friends with a good sense of humour to keep you alive or to cheer you up whenever you need to laugh. I do not mean the sarcastically-funny or read-between-the-lines-funny or politically-funny; I mean the downright hilarious ones - the ones that turn your very philosophical status update into a comedy by their buffoonery. You know that if you will drop them a message, there will be a hilarious exchange of messages at any time of the day!

Nothing is more lifting than a stomach ache caused by laughing hard.

2. Successful Ones - CEOs, GMs, Entrepreneurs

The first gathering that I attended in Malaysia, I was surrounded by successful 'expats' who were working in really senior positions in the corporate world. I was intimated at first as I was just starting my career and I felt unfit in that circle. But, they were the only people I knew in the country. Slowly, these high ranking people became 'real' for me. I began to cherish and value their friendship. The ones I knew have been through struggles but went the extra mile to be where they are. Such people genuinely advise you, motivate you, make you see the bigger picture, broaden your goals and give you plenty of ideas and ways to look at the same thing. They inspire you to dream bigger, achieve higher and take the plunge if needed.

Trust me, they are one of the best listeners.

3. People Not Your Age

This is something I learned from my husband... some of his friends are double his age! He enjoys their company and loves to discuss things with them. I have learned that having older friends helps you relax - to understand and believe that at the end of the day everything will be alright. There is a lot to learn from the wisdom that they gain from their experiences. You will learn to value the sincerity of their friendship and the warmth of their company when you will realize that all they want from you is respect, time and attention. There is no better teacher in the world than another human who has been there and done that!

While the younger lot keeps you connected to the present and keeps you updated with what is latest. I am known to make friends with interns at work, students in the neighbourhood or children of my friends.

4. From the Past

Because old is gold, always stay connected with friends from school, college or university. A chat with them once in a while is really good for self-reflection and self-evaluation. It is a great reminder of where you started and where you have reached. It is such a pleasure to sit with really old friends and remember things you used to do. These friends are never afraid to tell you the harsh truth!
You might be refreshed or motivated or just plain embarrassed but being connected to friends from the past brings an air of youth - a sweet nostalgia!

I am quite lucky to be in touch with friends from all the gazillion schools I changed! 

5. Your Polar Opposite

This is my favourite and I have recently learned to enjoy it. Go out and befriend someone who pulls you out from your comfort zone. Cross-cultural is even better! There is nothing more exciting than to see the other side of life without giving up on things you believe in. I got married quite early - my priorities in life are my home, my family, savings, job etc whereas I have a close friend who hates commitments, does not want a family, do not believe in savings - she is happy-go-lucky type! I simply love the time I spend with her! She pulls me out of my shell and we do crazy things together. She would give me the most bizarre solution to my problems and I would half of the time fail to understand her issues. Perhaps our friendship is all about enjoying each others company while embracing our differences.

Importantly, all of these are low maintenance friends where I do not need to prove my loyalty or be sent on guilt trips for not calling or meeting them regularly. They give me space that I need while I know they have my back!

Be open to making new friends in life... you never know where you find the 6th type :) 


  1. Awesome 👍

  2. So true!! We definitely need all kinds of friends in our life even the weird should be a part of this, they keep reminding us of things we should not be doing in life.